Alright, so invoking Rasmus in the title is a bit provocative, but I stumbled on an interesting talk of his; showing performance benchmarks for a number of popular php frameworks. The first portion of the talk is exactly what he presented @ OSCON, but the second half looks to be raw performance numbers. It looks like there are a couple specific, but easy, performance tweaks that he granted to certain frameworks, and I like seeing the data so much I thought I could try my hand at distilling it into Google Docs charts.
It's interesting that some tulsaphp guys and were recently talking about Zend had to be the slowest of all the frameworks, but apparently not so! That honor goes to CakePHP?
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